Self-Awareness: Know thyself to improve decision-making

In our fast-paced world, decision-making plays a crucial role in shaping our personal and professional lives. However, making effective decisions requires more than just logical reasoning or a sharp intellect. It demands a profound understanding of ourselves and the world around us. This is where self-awareness and external self-awareness come into play. In this blog, we will explore the importance of these two forms of awareness in decision-making and provide practical strategies to enhance them.

What is the difference between self-awareness, self-conscious and self-knowledge?

According to Carden et al. (2022):

Self-awareness refers to how much we are consciously aware of our internal states and our interactions with others. It involves being attuned to our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, as well as recognizing how we interacts with others. Self-awareness focuses on understanding ourselves and gaining insight into our own experiences and actions. Or simply, it is “the ability to see ourselves clearly – to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world around us” (Eurich. 2017).

Self-awareness is necessary for us to represent ourselves in social interaction and lays the foundation for the recognition of our social emotions such as embarrassment, pride and shame, which are triggered by how we evaluate ourselves in the presence of others (Meltzoff & Prinz. 2002). 

Self-consciousness is one component of self-awareness. It refers to the awareness of ourselves as an object that others can observe or evaluate. It involves being conscious of how we are perceived by others and being concerned about our image or reputation. Self-consciousness often arises in social situations and can impact our behaviour and self-presentation.

Self-knowledge is perceived as an output of self-awareness. It refers to having a deeper understanding of ourselves, including our values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, and motivations. Self-knowledge is gained through self-reflection, self-assessment, and introspection. It involves knowing ourselves on a more profound level and having insight into our own identity and characteristics.

External Self-Awareness is understanding how others perceive us and our actions. This is something that can derail your career if you don’t get it right. As you climb higher up the corporate ladder, less people will have the courage to tell you the truth for fear of their own downfall.  

The importance of Self-Awareness and External Self-Awareness in Decision-Making

1. Self-Awareness

   Self-awareness is the foundation of effective decision-making. When we understand our own emotions, values, strengths, and weaknesses, we gain clarity about what truly matters to us. This self-insight empowers us to align our decisions with our authentic selves, leading to greater satisfaction and fulfilment.

2. Identification of patterns and triggers

   Paying attention to internal experiences helps us identify patterns in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. We can recognize recurring patterns that may be hindering our personal or professional growth. Additionally, being attuned to external relationships allows us to identify triggers or situations that impact our reactions, behaviours, strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs, leading to a better understanding of ourselves and our motivations. 

3. Empathy and perspective-taking

   Developing self-awareness involves understanding how our actions and words affect others. By being attuned to external relationships (external self-awareness), we can gauge how our actions are being perceived by others which helps to empathise with others, consider different perspectives, and recognise the impact of our behaviour on others. This fosters better interpersonal relationships and effective communication.

Practical Strategies to Enhance Self-Awareness and Other-Awareness

Self-Awareness Strategies

• Reflection and introspection

  Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Engage in activities like journaling or meditation to deepen your self-understanding.

• Seek feedback

  Ask trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues for honest feedback about your strengths and areas for growth. This person must be a loving critic, someone who will be honest with you while still having your best interest at heart, someone who has substantial experience with the behaviour in question and a precise understanding of what constitutes success (Eurich, 2017). This external perspective can provide valuable insights into your blind spots.

• Emotional intelligence development

  Develop your emotional intelligence by recognising and managing your emotions effectively to enhance your self-awareness and improve your decision-making skills:

• Practice techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or engaging in activities that help you calm down and regain control during moments of heightened emotions. By managing your own emotions, you can make decisions with a clear and rational mindset.

• Cultivate empathy by actively listening and trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Seek to understand their perspectives, experiences, and emotions. This empathy allows you to consider different viewpoints and make decisions that take into account the needs and feelings of others.

• Develop your social awareness by paying attention to nonverbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions. This awareness helps you understand the emotions and dynamics of those around you. It enables you to respond appropriately and build stronger relationships based on empathy and understanding.

• Practice expressing your emotions clearly and assertively while also being receptive to the emotions of others. Develop active listening skills to fully understand the emotions and messages being conveyed.

External Self-Awareness Strategies

• Active listening

  Practice active listening by paying attention to others' perspectives and emotions. Show empathy and seek to understand their needs and concerns.

• Seek diverse viewpoints

  Surround yourself with individuals from diverse backgrounds and perspectives. Engaging in meaningful conversations and seeking differing opinions can broaden your external awareness.

• Stay informed

• Stay updated on current events, industry trends, and social issues. This knowledge will equip you with a broader understanding of the external factors influencing your decisions.

Real-Life Example of Incongruent Self-Awareness and External-Awareness

Let's consider the example of Sarah, a highly competent employee who believes she deserves a promotion due to her exceptional performance. However, Sarah fails to recognize that she hasn't effectively communicated her competencies to others, leading to a lack of external validation. This mismatch between her self-awareness and external-awareness can result in bitterness, disappointment, and even anger. It highlights the importance of aligning self-perception with external recognition for career growth and personal satisfaction.

Impact of Improved Awareness on Personal and Professional Relationships

• Enhanced empathy

  Increased self-awareness and external-awareness foster empathy, allowing us to understand and relate to others' experiences and emotions more effectively.

• Effective communication

  Awareness enables us to communicate our thoughts, needs, and boundaries clearly. It also helps us interpret others' nonverbal cues, leading to better communication and stronger relationships.

• Conflict resolution

  By understanding our own triggers and biases, as well as appreciating different perspectives, we can navigate conflicts with greater empathy and find mutually beneficial solutions.

Final thoughts…

Self-awareness and external-awareness are essential elements in elevating decision-making. By cultivating these forms of awareness, we can align our choices with our true selves, consider a wider range of perspectives, and build meaningful relationships. So, let's embark on this journey of awareness and unlock our potential for better decision-making.

References:

Carden, J., Jones, R.J., & Passmore, J. (2022). Defining Self-Awareness in the Context of Adult

Development: A Systematic Literature Review. Journal of Management Education. Vol. 46(1).

Eurich, T. (2017). Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think.

Meltzoff, A., & Prinz, W. (Eds.). (2002). The Imitative Mind: Development, Evolution and Brain Bases (Cambridge Studies in Cognitive and Perceptual Development). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

You’re not living your true life until you’ve understood the power of Self-Determination

Are you the architect of your own destiny or merely a passenger in this life? In this blog, we explore the life-changing concept of self-determination and its profound impact on our motivation, satisfaction, and overall well-being. By delving into the essential components of autonomy, competence, and relatedness, we'll discover the key to unlocking our true potential and thriving in all aspects of life.

What is Self-Determination?

Self-determination is our natural human desire to have some control over our own lives, make choices, and act in accordance with our values and goals. It is an intrinsic motivation that propels us forward, fuels our passions, and empowers us to pursue a fulfilling life in line with our values rather than having a desire to be appreciated, approved, accepted or rewarded by someone else. Self-determined individuals are driven by a sense of autonomy, competence, and relatedness, which serve as the foundation for their growth and development.

Elements of Self-Determination

1. Autonomy

   Autonomy is the need for independence and freedom in decision-making. It involves having a sense of control over your actions, choices, and direction in life. Autonomy empowers us to align our behaviour with our values, make choices that reflect our authentic selves, and take ownership of our own lives.

2. Competence

   Competence refers to the need to feel capable, effective, and skilled in various areas of life. It involves developing and honing our talents, acquiring knowledge, and mastering new skills. When we experience competence, we feel confident in our abilities, which, in turn, motivates us to take on challenges, set goals, and persevere through obstacles.

3. Relatedness

   Relatedness is the need for social connections, positive relationships, and a sense of belonging. It involves building meaningful connections with others, experiencing empathy, and being part of a supportive community. Having satisfying relationships and feeling connected to others enhances our well-being, provides emotional support, and encourages collaboration and cooperation.

Here’s why autonomy, competence, and relatedness are vital factors that significantly impact personal and professional growth.

1. Autonomy promotes motivation and fulfilment

   When we have the freedom to make choices aligned with our values and interests, our motivation and satisfaction levels increases. Having the freedom to choose allows us to tap into our intrinsic motivation – doing something for its own satisfaction rather than for some external reward, leading to increased engagement, creativity, and a sense of purpose.

2. Competence drives achievement and growth

   Developing and improving our skills, knowledge, and abilities is crucial for personal and professional growth. When we feel competent, we are more likely to set ambitious goals, take on new challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks. Competence fuels our confidence, boosts our self-esteem, and propels us towards success.

3. Relatedness cultivates support and well-being

   Human beings are social creatures, and our relationships play a fundamental role in our happiness and overall well-being. Positive social connections provide emotional support, encourage collaboration, and offer opportunities for learning and growth. Having a sense of relatedness fosters a supportive environment that fuels our motivation and resilience.

Now that we understand the importance of autonomy, competence, and relatedness, here are some practical strategies to cultivate self-determination

1. Set meaningful goals

   Identify goals that align with your values and aspirations. Something that pulls you forward and excites you, even when you don’t feel like doing anything. Setting challenging yet attainable goals provides a sense of direction and purpose, and fuels motivation.

2. Foster autonomy

   Seek opportunities to make choices and decisions in various aspects of your life. Take ownership of your actions, reflect on your values, and ensure that your choices reflect your authentic self.

3. Cultivate competence

   Engage in continuous learning and skill development. Set aside time to acquire new knowledge, practice existing skills, and challenge yourself to expand your capabilities.

4. Nurture relationships

   Invest time and effort in building and maintaining positive relationships. Seek out supportive individuals who share your interests and values, and actively engage in activities that strengthens connection and collaboration.

5. Embrace challenges and failures

   Challenges and failures are as normal to life as day turning into night. View challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Look for the underlying lessons they offer, persevere, and celebrate your progress along the way no matter how small it seems.

Final Thoughts…

Dedication to self-determination is a transformative journey that empowers you to unlock your inner drive and flourish. By embracing autonomy, developing competence, and nurturing positive relationships, we can harness the power of self-determination to achieve personal and professional growth that is congruent with our values, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Remember, you have the power within you to unleash your true potential. Embrace self-determination and watch as you embark on a journey of personal growth and unparalleled success.

References:

1. Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry.

2. Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist.

3. Reeve, J. (2009). Why teachers adopt a controlling motivating style toward students and how they can become more autonomy supportive. Educational Psychologist.

4. Baard, P. P., Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2006). Intrinsic need satisfaction: A motivational basis of performance and well-being in two work settings. Journal of Applied Social Psychology.